In these kinds of incremental games, every single upgrade like a new bitch or an unlocked item is supposed to guarantee you an increase in productivity. Apparently, this game used to be great back in the day, then one update ruined everything by compressing the upgrade paths for the girls down to a point where all of the players’ progress became utterly pointless. I’ve seen a ton of reviews for this game that all say the same thing. That’s exactly what I’d like to tell you about. Like, for instance, how the game has changed across previous updates. It’s just that, these people have communities that have insider information on how all the games work, so I learn things that I wouldn’t otherwise have access to. It’s not that I don’t play the games I review, because I do. More often than not, they tell me things that I wouldn’t be able to figure out without dumping hundreds of hours into a game. This game is available on Steam, and I always love reviewing games on that platform because I can see what other people have to say. I really can’t downplay the endless factor when it comes to this game. They, in turn, do the clicking for you, far better than you ever could, and the cycle repeats itself over and over, for eternity. You get yourself money by beating up hentai babes then you use that money to upgrade the chicks you already own. But, you can’t get very far on clicking alone. That is, your mouse-clicking finger is stronger by default. The general idea is that once you unlock a girl, she starts making money for you by beating up other girls for you, passively. You get a similar spiel with Sakura Clicker, except instead of purchasing grandmothers, you upgrade the chicks you already own. They’re going to be spending every waking second of their afterlife making cookies for you, and these will net you money even when you’re not actively playing the game. Since you could purchase thousands of them, I would assume that those are not all your grandmas, but the collective grandmas of other people that have died and gotten stuck in this phase between life and heaven. That game was basically a grandma purgatory. The grandma would make cookies passively, forever. In Cookie Clicker, you could use the money you’ve earned from selling cookies to purchase a grandma. Sure, it’s nice while you’re fapping, but all the time? It gets old quick. It’s the standard “Yamete, hentai, senpai” bullshit you’ve heard in a million hentai productions already, but it gets old pretty fast. Except, every time you click them, they scream out in pleasure moans. You see, this is a game in which you are encouraged to click on hentai babes as quickly as possible, as much as possible. Or, you’ll just play the damn game with the sound turned way down. You might have a teeny tiny problem with this game if you don’t live alone, though. It’s like a kleptomania game for people who can’t help but put women in their pockets. Still, they’re the lifeblood of your collection, and you need them in order to … unlock more of them. The girls do very little besides stand down the middle of your screen, screaming pleasure moans at you. It’s not like you have to actually perform any combat gameplay. You use them to win fights against other hentai babes, and then you use the coins that this unlocked to get even more hentai babes. The general idea behind Sakura Clicker is that you unlock hentai babes that serve as your fighters. It’s a clicker game that can and will get you off, provided you click hard enough. That’s roughly where we are with Sakura clicker. You can, however, jack off to naked hentai babes who are screaming obscenities at you, while you click on them for hours on end. However, in those games, you also get to jack off, so there’s a lateral reward system. I mean, the point of a porn game in which you build up a harem is to get points to get more girls for your harem. In that sense, clicker games are a lot like porn games in general. It’s like a casino in which you only win, but you have to keep coming back to collect your money and buy more things that eventually net you even more money. There’s something about these kinds of idle clicking games that appeals to people’s general need to accrue more points or more money. Then, the fellow behind Cookie Clicker figured that this joke of a format works great when it’s done unironically, and lo and behold, he’s rich now. The very first was called Cow Clicker, and it was made as a joke. To be fair, Cookie Clicker was the first serious game in this genre, but not the first overall. I have to cover the basics, and the truth is Cookie Clicker invented this genre, and everyone else who came after has pretty much been coasting on their success. Or, just skip a few paragraphs until I get to actually talking about Sakura Clicker. If you don’t like it, you can get the fuck out. Well, I can’t talk about Sakura Clicker without first talking about Cookie Clicker.
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